Are You Talking To Yourself?

Well this could mean a few things, now couldn’t it?

Often when I talk to clients about their messaging, creative, advertising copy and such, I have to ask if they are talking to themselves – meaning they using too much jargon or industry-speak in their copy.

One of the hardest things to do as a marketer is to get outside of yourself, the company’s four walls, and the industry so that you can talk/think like a customer.  Especially a customer who has a limited attention span and is not interested in becoming an expert in what ever it is that you do, but is interested in themselves and solving their own problems.

I’ll save that for another blog post.  Today, I wonder if you are talking to yourself in a way to build yourself up and get you focused for the day ahead of you.

Self-talk, the conversations you have with yourself in your mind, is one of the primary ways you direct your focus.  Self -talk falls into two categories: positive self talk, and negative self talk.

Negative Self Talk:

  • Why am I so stupid?
  • I am fat.
  • Why does this always happen to me?
  • I can’t do this.

Positive Self Talk:

  • I am healthy.
  • I am on top of my game.
  • I am loved.
  • I want to make a positive impact on my family.
  • I am great at what I do every day, and getting better.

Focus on what you “Want” – not what you “Don’t Want”.  Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what you want and don’t want – it will focus on the “thing” you are thinking about.

  • “I want to keep my job”, NOT “I don’t want to get fired.”
  • “I want to be healthy”, NOT “I don’t want to get sick”
  • “I want to spend my money wisely”, not “I don’t want to waste money.”

Do you see the difference?  If not, read it again and again until you do – this is the key point.

Your positive self talk should be expressed in terms of the things you WANT, and the things you ARE which are consistent with your IDENTITY.  You have to work hard at this to keep the negative thoughts out of your mind, and to get rid of the internal “critic” who cuts you down, or reminds you of something somebody said to you a long time ago.

Your positive self talk should be consistent with your “big rocks” and your definite major purposes/goals in life.

Using positive self talk and visualization, you should create a picture of yourself already in possession of the goal you want.  For example:

  • My team members respect me.
  • I have total financial security.
  • I am loved.
  • I am going to do great today.

If you are unable to fully see yourself fully in possession of these goals, then ask yourself “How Can I?” questions so that your subconscious mind will go to work on obtaining the answer:

  • How can I get people to respect me?
  • How can I get my team to work together better?
  • How can I become financially secure?
  • How can I WOW people today?

The way you talk to yourself, and condition your mind, will determine your outcome for the day.  Try it for a week and see what happens – I guarantee you’ll carry yourself differently, see things in a more positive light, and become a better marketer because you have DECIDED you are one.

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One Response to “Are You Talking To Yourself?”

  1. Grace Dunklee Cohen, Anthorne Group PR on February 13th, 2011:

    Great topic, Bryan! I am actually doing a talk for Toastmasters on this same theme – I am encouraging people to elminate those REALLY HARMFUL 4-letter words like Hate, Can’t, Fail, (etc) … and replace them with dislike/don’t care for (hate), have yet to achieve/master (can’t); learned what doesn’t work (per Thomas Edison – who refused to use the “F” word(fail)). And instead of belittling myself for doing something I wish I hadn’t, I simply ask, “Grace – what were you thinking?” The answer is obvious – I wasn’t – which opens up a whole new way for me to learn and move forward, instead of beating myself up over something that is already history.

    Henry Ford said it best, “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, either way you’re right.” It’s our attitude – expressed in our self-talk that often makes all the difference in our ultimate success, both personal as well as professional.

    Thanks for this inspiring blog topic, Bryan!